"Life is an Ever-Flowing River"
By Bella Goodnight
My aunt often tells me when I worry about random, nonexistent issues that “life is an ever-flowing river.” These words come from a peace pagoda she once visited in New York. There, she stumbled upon the quote and has let it guide her ever since. Her interpretation of it is that life just keeps moving, so there is no use in fighting the current, nor trying to swim upstream.
This summer, I struggled dealing with a massive shift in my schedule. I transitioned from a busy semester to experiencing far more stillness than I was used to. Moments like those are when it’s critical to use preventative mental health tactics. After pushing those practices aside, I found myself in a bout of overthinking.
My mind created its own stress to make up for its lack in my environment. Although this anxiety is unwanted, I welcomed it into my life by not working proactively to care for my mind. Without active attention to your wellbeing, these emotions can become a grueling cycle.
I avoided doing the work, which led to me feeling worse and having to work significantly harder to bounce back; yes, the irony is clear. This just goes to show, however, that it doesn’t have to get to that point.
Feel free to let what resonates with you from this blog guide your way because you truly don’t have to work through anxious thoughts alone! There’s nothing wrong with needing a helping hand. This blog serves as a reminder for me, too.
When you feel low, anxiety can feel like it is the voice of reason. It isn’t. Let people who care about you be the voice of reason until you can be that for yourself.
Let’s get into it.
Retrain that Brain
Make neuroplasticity your strength. As humans, we have the incredible power to rewire our brains, which is something to make use of.
When you’re feeling hopeless and think “what if I feel this way forever?,” your thinking is distorted, picking out catastrophic ideas to dwell on. This only gets easier to do after forming a habit of it.
In reality, life has its ebbs and flows, so this may just be one of those rougher periods. From this acknowledgment, you can make the conscious decision to use your neuroplasticity for the better.
If you can condition your brain to cycle negativity unintentionally, imagine how powerful it’ll be to commit to being kind to yourself, being optimistic, and putting that purpose into everything you do. It takes work, but you can use coping mechanisms, mindfulness, and gratitude to retrain that brain.
Source: Adobe Stock
Searching for Control Counters Mindfulness
It is easy in today’s times to dwell on what is outside of our control like global events or televised bad news that saturates the media. Someone very close to me often says, “You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
Of course, it is necessary to have empathy and do one’s individual part in making the world a better place. However, one person will never be able to solve all the world’s problems. Constantly consuming high-stress media or worrying about the future won’t benefit your life. It will only rob you of the present moment.
Overthinkers try to analyze everything to the point of exhaustion, worrying that they’re missing something or that they’ll be underprepared without giving into the anxious thoughts. They then miss moments worth savoring by being overly concerned with what’s next.
I’m learning to recognize this mind trick; overthinking will not improve my life. Taking each moment as it comes will.
Source: Adobe Stock
You Are Not Your Thoughts
Building on this lack of control over external events, the same applies to your thoughts. The human brain has roughly 60,000 thoughts per day, and those are largely influenced by society, the media, and what you see and hear on a daily basis.
Sometimes we may have a thought that upsets us or doesn’t resonate with us. Thoughts of comparison, picturing worst-case scenarios, or self-doubt are common examples.
You are not your thoughts. Your brain often produces random nonsense that has no reflection on your worth or the truth. This means you don’t have to attach meaning to the anxious ideas popping into your head. Feeding energy into a thought only strengthens it, so acknowledging that thoughts don’t define you allows you to choose which thoughts you want in your life: positive ones!
Exercise to try: Make a list of the anxious thoughts or negative self-talk you experience. Then, list the beliefs you want to have about yourself. How can you lean into a more positive belief system? Even when lacking self-confidence isn’t the primary issue, how you notice your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself make all the difference.
Source: Adobe Stock
Good Things Take Time
Don’t put expectations or a timeline on it. It always gets better, but sometimes it gets worse at first. Don’t let that fool you!
Doing the work is mentally exhausting…until it isn’t anymore. KEEP GOING. Even when you take two steps forward and one step back, you’re still one step ahead of where you started.
Source: Adobe Stock
Coping Tools
1. Read books.
I love learning from the best. People build their careers and lives off of studying our brains: therapists, professors, researchers, etc. It is comforting to find that these guys know exactly what your mind is doing and how to proactively fix it.
Some books that helped me better understand and care for myself:
A couple more spiritual/philosophical books that helped me in the past:
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss
However, for a more psychology-based approach, my current reads are:
The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns
Stop Overthinking: 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress by Nick Trenton
You should read what is best for you, but I believe reading for self-development is a great path in general, even outside of these particular works.
2. Gratitude is everything.
Notice the little things. Even if life seems to be unraveling, you can always count on the sunset, birds to chirp, a cool breeze to come your way, or some beauty to brighten your day.
3. Move and create!
Movement is the prescription that grounds me. Anxiety can bring baggage with it, which often takes the form of cortisol overload. Cortisol is a stress hormone that, in excess, upsets your nervous system, causes stomach issues, and propels your body into fight-or-flight. Movement is how I choose to piggyback off of any adrenaline or cortisol I’m experiencing and sweat it out.
Art is a necessary medium. You don’t have to be great at it for both you and those around you to be uplifted by the process. Write, dance, sing, draw, build, create. The world needs it! It is highly supported by research that creativity aids mental health.
4. Practice Self-Compassion.
Be gentle with yourself. Human beings are imperfect!
Chances are many of the people to whom you compare yourself on social media or in real life have their own struggles they just aren’t sharing. We all have things we need to work on, and we all move at different paces. No matter where you are in your journey, it’s okay.
Even when you’re in a good place mentally, you should not let up on protecting your peace. You may be ridden of anxiety temporarily, but if you slack on the tactics that brought you out of it, it can eventually creep back in. Doing preventative work, even when in a positive state of mind, will save you so much time and worry longterm.
You deserve happiness and peace. Both of those feelings are inherently within you, and your soul always has access to them, though this can be clouded by worldly stress. The beautiful thing is that by working on yourself and your belief system, you can break down false notions to find that.
All of this is easier said than done, but healing is not a linear process, so sometimes you may have to relearn old lessons. However, I am learning and relearning right there with you, and I want you to know that it is in your abilities to think and feel better.
Happiness is just around the corner! Take care of yourself, spread love, and know that I believe in you!
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Very real approaches to overthinking that could help many people. Converting the effort it takes to dive deeply in a bad direction into a good direction is never impossible if you let go.
Wise words ❤️
Awesome!